Savage Got A Vibrator Stuck Up Her Ass And Had To Get Surgery To Remove It

*Hat Tip: Kevin D.

Savages: Emma Phillips and her boyfriend Lee Miller

A British woman misplaced a sex toy before realizing it was lodged inside her rectum — still vibrating — forcing doctors to perform emergency surgery.

Emma Phillips, a 24-year-old student teacher from the town of Wallasey near Liverpool, was getting busy with boyfriend Lee Miller, 29, on Saturday morning when they couldn’t find their 7-inch-long vibrator.

She pressed on her stomach and could feel vibration, according to reports.

“We were looking around the bed in case it had fallen out,” Phillips said. “When I leaned on my stomach I could feel it vibrating — it was stuck low down and at one point was even wedged behind my hip.”

Desperate times called for desperate measures — and BBQ tongs.

“For a while Lee was suggesting all kinds of wonderful options,” she said. “He tried a kitchen fork handle, which we won’t be using again, and said he could feel it at one point but that it was too far up — it was a goner.”

She added: “He tried BBQ prongs too but after a certain point — after an hour of trying — we knew were going to have to go to hospital. We were both a bit shocked.”

The couple had been drinking, so they didn’t want to drive to the hospital. But explaining the mishap to an ambulance dispatcher was a whole other challenge.

“I had to make the most embarrassing call to the ambulance at 7 a.m.,” Phillips admitted. “The call handler said, ‘Tell me exactly what the problem is,’ so I had to tell him.”

An ambulance was quickly sent and the couple savages ended up at Wrexham Maelor Hospital in Wrexham, about 30 miles south of where their randy calamity happened.

“At that point it was just more surreal than anything,” Phillips said. “I didn’t feel much pain at that point — I was in too much shock.”

Doctors told the bitch the still-buzzing vibrator was too high up in her system to be manually removed, meaning they’d have to operate. She credited doctors for keeping her calm.

“The doctors were really good — they all moved quite quickly and were so reassuring telling me they saw it quite often which was quite a relief,” she said. “At first we were jokey about it but then realized it wasn’t much of a joke especially when there was talk of going through my stomach if they couldn’t get it.”

Once doctors removed the vibrator, they offered it to her as a souvenir. She declined.

Phillips groused that her boyfriend thought this was all a joke.

“Lee’s not been scarred by it — he just thinks it’s funny,” she said. “I think he should have one up his bum and take one for the team.”

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Pedophiles, perverts, bestiality, murder, terrorism and the like. Cynical Afrikan exposes the socially mal-adaptive practices of the most destructive beings in the known universe: Creatures who classify themselves as white.

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