*Hat Tip: James
This near-toothless hobbit who bit his neighbor’s penis after being told to turn down the volume on his Xbox has been jailed.
Jason Martin, 41, chomped through his victim’s pyjamas “like a sandwich” after confronting him outside their apartment.
The penis eater still had blood around his mouth when he was arrested, a court heard.
Surgeons managed to stitch his neighbor’s junk back together but he suffered “excruciating” pain.
At Canterbury Crown Court, the cannibal said: “It was just a rat bite. I just grabbed into an area, I didn’t realize at the time it was his testicles.”
Judge Adele Williams said the cannibalistic hobbit’s victim had “never felt such excruciating pain like that before in his life”.
She said: “These were horrendous injuries but you have shown not one flicker of remorse in fact you regard yourself as the victim.
“I have no doubt that when you lost your temper on this occasion you were determined to inflict as much pain and injury upon your victim as possible.
“You also set out to humiliate him by taking hold of his penis and testicles and gnawing at them.”
During his trial, the father-of-one told a jury: “I didn’t do that..I am not a gay man in any way.”
“The thought of putting a man’s penis in my mouth..well, it’s not for me. Not in a million years would I do it!” Yeah, silly faggot because dicks are for chicks!
The cock eater, of Dover, Kent, was last week, given seven years for wounding with intent, and a year for dangerous driving on bail.