According to authorities, officers were called to the scene when neighbors were terrorized by the whitemarish sight of this hairy “white” beast walking his dog without a stitch of clothing on.
When officers asked the encinoman where his clothes were, he replied that he was walking “In God’s house” and therefore should not be required to wear clothing.
God could not be immediately reached for comment on what the house rules were, so the cops ordered him to cover up. When the diabolical beast refused, officers attempted to take him into custody, however, the luciferian resisted arrest.
That’s when officers demonstrated to the demon how effective a Taser devise was when applied to the skin without clothing.
The diabolical caveman later stated that he had consumed mushrooms before threatening to kill the officer.
He was booked into jail and charged with battery, resisting arrest and exposing his filthy “white” body.