*Hat Tip: Louis Kolopee Randall
Nick Gilronan is the name of that fat pile of feces on the picture.
The 27-year-old UPS Store worker who won Brooklyn’s smallest penis contest said he’s proud of his puny junk.
“The size of a man’s penis does not matter for who he is as a person or in a relationship,” he told Gothamist after his victory Saturday at Kings County Bar.
The dickless savage said he wanted to “put on a good show for the audience. Looks like my efforts were successful.”
According to the New York Post, a crowd of about 100 watched New York City native Gilronan match members with five other contestants, including a 55-year-old from Minnesota who called himself “Rip van Dinkle.”
The competition included a swimwear round of “skimpy mesh mankinis” and a Q&A, the Post wrote.
Gilronan was proclaimed the champ and the recipient of $200 as someone sang Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer.”
“I’m hoping this will look brave to guys who have self-esteem issues and make them feel better about themselves,” he said, according to reports.
One of the event’s promoters dubbed the contest as “a pageant for confident people with a sense of humor.”
Gilronan’s triumph perhaps illustrates that size does indeed matter — at least, when it comes to self-esteem.
Since most honks have a tiny penis that’s why they rather use it on children.